Saturday, December 1, 2007

Disappointment

I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed in myself. I realized about a week ago that my chances of finishing were a little less wonderful than I'd hoped they would be at that point. I thought I had completely steeled myself against the possibility of not winning. I didn't think it would bother me that much.

It does bother me though, and it's not just because I don't get the nifty winner's icon. It's because looking back at my wordcounts for the month, and knowing how many words I cranked just in the last couple of days, I know that I could have won, I should have won, and, really, I sort of gave up before I even started. I think that by expecting to not finish, it became something of a self-fulfilling prophecy and that just ticks me off.

The good news though, is that I managed to get to over 42000 words which is about 36000 more than I wrote on my first attempt at NaNo two years ago. Plus, I actually really like the way my story is developing and I plan to continue working on it until it's actually complete. And even more important than liking my own story is the fact that I've let my husband and my 16-year-old daughter read what I've got so far, and they both like it too. (and that's sayin' something since both are avid readers and both tend just a little bit toward brutal criticism when they feel it's warranted.)

So overall I guess I'm disappointed with my effort, but still happy with my results. I guess that will have to be enough for this year.

7 comments:

Dreaming again said...

BUT ... you made it further than last year ..and with the same progress, next year you'll pass then 50k mark!

Monotreme said...

You're a writer. Don't give up.

momsie564 said...

NaNo is very much an individual challenge set up within a larger community. It's easy to become discouraged and disappointed when surrounded by purple bars - on the other hand, the fact that YOU wrote SIX TIMES what you did during your last NaNo attempt (and you actually LIKE your story!) is the larger victory here, and shouldn't be forgotten.

Someone on the forums suggested making a homemade purple bookmark, and sticking in among the pages of your printed novel. I love that idea! You're a winner no matter what the word counter says. ;)

momsie564 said...

Edited: SEVEN TIMES what you did last NaNo. Math on half a cup of coffee is not my forte. ;)

dzineprof said...

I certainly still consider you a winner. 42000 is a hell of a word count plus since the 42k is good writing then I think you should be extra proud of your efforts. Even though I hit the 50k mark, lord knows the dribble I produced this year isn't worthy of winner status so I'm giving you a big *high five*!

:)

#1 Dinosaur said...

Agreeing with the above. I understand your disappointment, though. Offering condolences as well as encouragement.

Emily said...

That's no fun that you didn't win, but it's awesome that you wrote so much more than two years ago.